Theresa Milstein: Fifty Shades of Grammar

From: Theresa’s Tales of Teaching Tribulations and Typing Teen Texts
August 17, 2012 at 10:13AM

Jenny Baranick has
great hair, 

and the best sense of humor.

Today, Jenny is here
to teach you a little about grammar:

Fifty Shades of

I haven’t read Fifty
Shades of Grey
because why would I want to read about something that so
closely mirrors my own life? Gorgeous men buy me cars all the time. I just
signed like my fiftieth sex contract. And I am so sick of private helicopter
rides. But another reason I am boycotting the book is that I heard that upon
its release it was riddled with spelling and grammar errors. Apparently, the
publisher fixed them and re-released the book, but I hold grudges—especially
grammatical ones.

I scoured the Internet for examples of the errors, but I
couldn’t find any. So I decided to take quotes from Fifty Shades of Grey and make my own grammar errors. What’s wrong
with these excerpts?

have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince.

A.     A lot should be one word.
B.     Prince should be lowercase, unless she
means that we can all find our own star of Purple
C.     Your should be you’re.

kisses me, forcing my lips a part with his tongue, taking no prisoners.

A.     A part should be apart.
B.     I
appreciate a passionate kiss, but a kiss that “tak[es] no prisoners” seems like
teeth would get chipped.
C.     The
first comma should be a semicolon.

 “The more you submit, the greater my joy
– its a very simple equation.”
“Okay, and what do I get out of this?”
He shrugs and looks almost apologetic.
“Me,” he says simply.

A.     Worst
deal ever!
Its should
be it’s.
The comma after me should be after the quotation marks.

subconscious is furious, medusa-like in her anger, hair flying, her hands
clenched around her face like Edvard Munchs Scream.

A.     The
titles of works of art are put in quotation marks, not italicized.
B.     Munchs needs an apostrophe.
C.     It’s
a bit much to include a Greek mythological character and Norwegian Symbolism
painter reference in the same sentence.
Good luck!

more fun, Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares can be found at:

her BLOG


Posted on August 17, 2012, in Theresa Milstein. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Theresa Milstein: Fifty Shades of Grammar.

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